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What does mars & the stadium of light have in common?
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They both have no atmosphere.
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Mackem fan rings up local asylum and says is anyone in room 62.
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Lady replies please wait on checking she says to Mackem No it is empty.
Mackem Fan Says: Good I have escaped.
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A Sunderland supporter was caught climbing over a wall at the stadium of light when he was caught by a policeman who said:
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Son you paid for your season ticket so you are going to have to stay and watch this shower of S….t.
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Sunderland Fan asks a Toon Army fan are you called the Magpies?
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Toon Fan Replies Yes
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Sunderland Fan says our mascot is a black cat?
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Toon fan says I think it should be a dog.
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The Sunderland fan asks why is that?
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Toon fan says it’s the only way you lot can hold a lead.
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Mackem Fan says to Toon Fan
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The Stadium of light has just been voted the best playing football surface in the country.
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Toon Fan replies:
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Hoy man a Na its because ye have all that shiiiite that plays in red and white gannin on it each week man.
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Two Mackem’s walking round the Toon when they stop at a shop and look inside the window. One Mackem says to the other look shirts £1 , Quilts £1.50, sheets
.50p. Its so cheap here man I am going to buy the shop.
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So in he walks and says to the lady behind the counter. I want to buy everything in the shop.
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The lady asks you are a mackem?
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To which he replies how do you know.
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The lady says have you not got many dry cleaners in Sunderland.
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Two old age pensioners Fighting,
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A policeman says to the one wearing the Sunderland Top! How old are Ye!
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To which the man replies 86
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Ya nare ye should not be fighting at your age, the Policeman says!
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He turns to the Old man wearing the Toon Top and asks how old are ye!
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The man replies 96
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The policeman says you should Na better man?
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The old man replies ! It’s his fault man, he tried to stuff his season ticket in me pocket man!
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Why do pigeons fly upside down over the stadium of light.
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Because there is nothing worth Cr…...ping on below.
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